How about that new “Food Pyramid” introduced by “Doctors-Found-a-Dead-Worm-in-My-Brain” U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services, RFK, Jr.? Meat and dairy got a promotion, zooming to the top, while whole grains — unprocessed foods that RFK, Jr. typically touts — came close to getting a pink slip, winding up at the very bottom.

If you’re not confused, you’re not paying attention.

The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, seeking to understand how artery-clogging foods came to rest atop America’s New Healthy Eating Pyramid, did not have to dig too deeply for an explanation: Of the new Pyramid’s nine “scientific review authors,” seven received funding from The National Cattleman’s Beef Association, the Texas Beef Council, The National Dairy Council, and the National Pork Board, among other deep-pocketed lobbying organizations.

Virtually every science-based medical and public health association has been telling us — for decades — to eat more fruit, nuts, and whole grains. “Real food” like meat? Not so much.

My beef is with Junior’s definition of “real food.”

Because here’s a sample of the most common chemical residues found in these “real foods”:

  • U.S. Beef
    • Anti-parasitic Drugs (highest frequency of regulatory level violations): Ivermectin; Fenbendazole
    • Antibiotics: Tetracyclines; Penicillin; Sulfonamides
    • Hormones: (implants permitted): Estradiol; Testosterone; Progesterone; Trenbolone metabolites
  • U.S. Poultry
    • Anti-parasitic (most commonly detected): Anti-coccidials
    • Antibiotics (less frequent): Tetracyclines; Sulfonamide
    • Residues accumulate mostly in liver and skin. Skin-less chicken breast has least residues.
  • U.S. Milk
    • Antibiotics: Penicillin; Amoxicillin; Ceftiofur
    • Tetracyclines
    • NSAIDs/Therapeutic Drugs: Flunixin; Meloxican (detected less than antibiotics)
    • Hormones: rBST
  • U.S. Pork
    • Antibiotics (most frequently found): Penicillin; Tetracyclines; Tylosin; Lincomycin; Sulfonamides
    • Anti-parasitics: Ivermectin; Fenbendazole; Levamisole
    • NSAIDs: Flunixin; Meloxicam

(Note: If you must eat any of the products above, always choose Organic, which rarely contains most of these chemicals. Can’t afford Organic? To you, Uncle Sam offers a Big Beautiful Shrug).

Resistance Recipes: Putting Whole Grains Back on Top

While many are feeling powerless in this moment of social turmoil, each of us has one Superpower we can practice multiple times a day: Vote with our forks. Start by creating your own Personal Food Pyramid, and promote whole grains to the top, where they belong.

In other words, do the exact opposite of what the current Administration says you should do. It’s certain to improve both your physical and mental health.

Oatmeal Berry Breakfast Bar: Cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger and oatmeal make this bar warmly satisfying, and blueberries add juicy sweetness. The recipe takes 5-10 minutes to pull together, and is happy as a breakfast bar, or as an “I’m feeling peckish” 4 p.m. snack.

Kale and Farro Salad with Orange-Avocado Dressing: Impress your lunch guests, or savor your alone-time with this colorful, herbaceous salad. I was late to the game discovering farro — when I spotted it on the shelf at Trader Joe’s, and read how quickly it cooked, I immediately snagged a bag. Its dense chewiness won me over. The grain’s versatility kept me coming back for more. I throw a bag into my cart every time I visit the store.

Roasted Garlic and Barley Stew: Any dish that calls for an entire bulb of garlic is one I want to get to know. For this one, begin by roasting the bulb in a very hot oven until it’s soft and fragrant, then mix it into a stew of chopped mushrooms, carrots, rosemary and thyme. (Trader Joe’s often has bags of parboiled barley, which cooks quickly). The perfect comfort food for a cold Sunday night when you’ve opted to stream a comedy (rec: Fisk on Netflix is a hoot!) and tune out the news.

One Pot Mexican Quinoa: Perfect for those nights you say, “I don’t feel like cooking.” As long as you have quinoa in your pantry, a bit of salsa, any sturdy vegetable in your fridge or freezer, chili powder and smoked paprika in your spice rack, you can have a Mexican-inspired meal in less than a half hour. If quinoa is not in your pantry already, pick up a package the next time you go to the store. Among its many benefits: it’s light, slightly chewy, and nutty (but in a good way, not in an RFK, Jr. way).

Gingery Noodle Salad: Whole wheat angel hair pasta twirls with crisp, sweet snow peas (or any veggie on hand that has a crunch, and you can slice thinly) and a punchy ginger‑soy dressing. Fresh grated ginger and scallions are whisked with salty soy sauce, zesty lemon juice, and rich sesame oil, coating every strand with bold flavor. One of my all-time favorite recipe creators and food writers, Mark Bittman, does it again with this simple, irresistible salad — suitable for lunch or dinner.